DIY Weekend

During the course of the 6-day long weekend because of the severe flooding of Metro Manila due to the Monsoon rains, I’ve decided to be semi-productive and revamp some of my boring clothes I hardly wear anymore. I’ve long since stocked up on DIY tutorials and I wanted to try some out during my free time. 

1. Bleached shorts. The outcome was really messy but I like it, it gives off the punkish, pang-beach vibe, chos. Mind you, my head actually hurt after inhaling bleach fumes.

2. New York Fringe Top. This shirt was rather big and bulky so I knew I had to do something about it as to not look big and bulky the next time I wear it. Fringing your tops are actually very easy and do-able, you just need a nice shirt and scissors. 

3. Aztec print bandage skirt. This one has to be my favorite of the three because I really worked hard for it. This used to be a dress and plainly, it needed a lot of cutting, measuring and some major sewing which I had to do by hand. I’m really satisfied with my work here although I admit that I would have more to improve with in my sewing.

seeing leighton

After almost 5 years of harboring borderline obsession (aka long-time extreme fangirling) towards Leighton Meester, I finally got the chance to see her live with Bea and Sheena, all thanks to BEA and her mom!!  
Possibly so, I think my admiration towards Leighton has even intensified. 
And in those 5 years, I'm only half sorry if I annoyed everyone with my persuasive speech about how much I look like her and how much I love her so so much. 
I am so overwhelmed with emotions right now.





xx
My blurry pictures can't even put justice to how lovely she looked during the fashion show. (because I'm not a g0od photographer, that is.) 

a mundane summer for a mundane being

from my flickr

Like most of my modest summers in my mere existence, this summer is unfortunately not an exception. None of those extreme getaways to exotic countries or extraordinary feelings or relationships; just being my boring old self even during a long vacation.

A plus side of it is, I'm going to college now. A new life of my choosing and action. I am excited and scared of it but mostly thankful for the opportune.
I have about 2 weeks before school starts and I hope I can make the most out of it.

A Midlife Crisis at 16

A week or so has just passed by since I have graduated high school. Of course, I am very much overwhelmed by this and I am very thankful for my parents and God and to all the people who have helped me reach this milestone in my life.

Our graduation ball came around, it was real fun and everyone looked gorgeous, except for me, but that could be argued on. I'll miss my friends and batchmates and all the people I'll leave behind. I'll miss the school's environment which I have both loved and hated at different times- but mostly loved, mind you.

Now on to what I really feel, but there's a big problem about that; I don't know what to feel, to do.
During my high school days, I have not accomplished much and I was fine with that, until now.
Now I'm struggling to get on with my life and what I should do next but I can't because my accomplishments, or lack thereof, are bringing me down.
I am very euphoric about finishing high school, really I am, but I must go on now.
I am finding myself not able to.

I'm a senior.

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod-

I'm a senior.

To tell you honestly, this is the first time it has really sunk in to me that I am truly a senior now.

You may ask, why now? Why now when you only have but a quarter of school left? Why now when you were needed to be serious about this matter three quarters ago?

The answer to that is- I honestly don't know.

I had 3 high school years to muck around with and I pulled through. I always pulled through but now I'm thinking, will I be successful this time? Will I actually graduate?

Will I get into my dream school and be happy with it? Or Will I get into any school at all?!!

I had my chance but I didn't know what I had when I had it. I procrastinated and ended up being all scared about it in the end, and that's when I decided to pull through, to fix the mess I did and again, I don't know if I will be able to do that this time, if my luck can get me where I need to be this time.

Luck? I really don't think what I've been doing for the past 4 years was luck. It's determination- of a procrastinator, that is.

I tell myself "You can do this, girl. You can, you really can." and I end up putting it aside for the joys that I really wouldn't be enjoying if it weren't for the education I'll be excellent in someday, but God or some inner-good self of mine shakes me awake and convinces me to start doing the job, ("study well, if you must") to conquer my lazy-self that will then be dominated.

But it comes back, the annoying thing. We are always going to fight our laziness against our will to do something productive.

Now it's time to be really serious, really serious and be all mature and do what is needed of me to be able to get through all this.

Gone are the days of "Tweet now, study later. Honestly, it'll just take a minute anyway." and "Omg, this is too freaking boring. I wonder what's in Facebook?" or the inevitable "I need to check out my Tumblr, I might lose followers!!!" and "Augh, I need something to read this is chicken shit."

Yes, now is the right time to lose my old habits of delaying tactics! And am I scared, you might wonder? (or not) Why, yes, I am.

I am scared shitless right now as I am as uncertain.

For that is what I am- I am a high school senior.

We get sappy about the last fieldtrip, the last christmas party with our friends and classmates, the last mass, or even the last subtle fart during a class.

The little things- not wanting to miss school for that crucial Physics quiz you may or may not fail anyway, the seatmates you have fun with, the people you want to see, having to pay for everything even for a temporary I.D. that doesn't even have your name in it (so what's the point? I still don't get it), going out with your friends after school, having to go home the latest, having the day off and not having to miss anything, missing the schoool bus, the inside jokes with your classmates, cute teachers, terror teachers, sadist teachers, the usual high school stuff. I could go on forever but I think I'll leave it to that.

Being in high school made me realize not to take anything for granted and if possible, do things that will make you happy in a much more positive way. These things shouldn't make you sacrifice what you really need to do, because then it wouldn't be such a great thing after all, if it made you all unresponsible and miserable afterwards.

Yeah, I love being in High School and I'm scared of getting into college but I seriously do not want to stay another year and do it all again, if you know what I mean.

And yes, we have roughly 2 months yet, not to scare you or anything, because I think I covered that part well already, have a breather when it gets too much, be serious when you need to be, break something to unwind a little. (not advisable but if you must do it, then don't break promises and anything that has glass in it or something that'll hurt anyone)

So, with that aside, good luck my fellow seniors! Here to hoping we get through all this with excellence and some fun while we're at it.

P.S. This blog post was inspired by the "bombardation" of entrance test results dates.

I'm shaking right now because of the anxiety, seriously, I am.

I am not a star, nor am I the moon

I am a little girl, small and insecure

I am never satisfied with anything

I am restless, always looking for something new

Every Teardrop is a Waterfall

God damn it, I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

I'm depressed.

But I don't really know why.

Sometimes, I wish I have some weird reason why I am this way and it's really confusing why I could be so depressed when I have everything I could ever need.

I am surrounded with people\\

But sometimes I think they don't care about me

And I understand,

I understand how they could be so caught up in their own lives.

I just wish I could feel genuine happiness.

What does it really feel?